Be Still
Pastor Dave Monreal, Lead Pastor
“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!”
Psalms 46:10 ESV
I thought I knew the meaning of this verse, then I had a stroke. On July 9th I woke up with a tremendous neck pain that radiated through the back of my skull. Thinking it was some type of muscle cramp or strain, I thought a hot shower would take care of it. As I got into the shower the world began spinning and I sat down in the tub before gravity threw me down! Within seconds I could not hold my head straight and was barely able to get the water turned off and the door unlocked. I was rushed to the hospital and after several exams it became clear there was a fairly severe stroke in the cerebellum. This did not affect my motor skills or speech, but I could not hold my head up or sit up on my own.
By God’s grace I began the process of relearning how to sit, stand, and walk. After three days in the hospital and nine days in intensive rehab I am ready to go home and continue my healing as I continue in ministry. What are some of the things the Lord showed me while I was recovering?
First, God is sovereign, and his hand of providence guides all things. I have had many conversations with doctors, nurses, and therapists on why someone with no identifiable markers would have a stoke at such a young age. Was it a long-time coming? Was it weakened by having severe COVID-19? Was it the vaccine or the therapeutic massage I had because of a prior fall? Was it a combination of different factors? The reality is, I just don’t know, and I may never know. But I know that behind this was the good hand of God who guides all things for his glory and my good. Like Joseph could say that “God sent me to Egypt” even though it was his brothers who sold him into slavery, I can say that God ordained this stroke regardless of how it occurred.
Second, we are weak creatures who have almost no power to affect change. As I lay on the gurney on the 9th, I was captivated by the reality that I was powerless. There was literally nothing I could do, even holding up my own head. We do our part in God’s kingdom then he calls us home. Most of us will not even be a footnote in a history book and a few generations from now most people will not know our names. When we are young, we have delusions of grandeur that we will say something or write something that will change the world. The reality is, 99.99% of us will live quiet lives of faithfulness serving the people he has given us and know that our reward is in heaven even if we are forgotten on earth. Any change is God’s doing anyways.
Finally, be still. When we sleep, God continues to run the world. When we are recovering from a stroke, God continues to run the world. He graciously chooses to use us, but he never needs us. He is God. Another translation says this, “Stop striving and know that I am God.” (NASB 2020) We are accepted by God based on grace. It is never what we do, how much we do, or how smart we are. We did not become Christians because we were smarter than other people or more worthy. It is by God’s sovereign grace that we are his children.
We somehow have the mistaken notion that God loves us more when we are busy or busier than the guy next to us. But God doesn’t work like that. He loves us perfectly and completely. Nothing we do can add to his love and no sin can diminish his love for his children! He is as pleased with me when I am in a hospital bed unable to raise my head as when I am in the pulpit preaching or on the street sharing the gospel. We need to stop trying to earn God’s love and accept the love that has always been there! Sure, he’s pleased when we serve him. But that is our “thank you” for the grace he has already given us and not the way we receive that grace! I respond in love because he has already loved me! It is grace that is the fuel that motivates our service to him. So be still. Stop striving and know that he is God.
