Bad Advice
Pastor Dave Monreal, Lead Pastor
| Have you ever had someone give you bad advice? Maybe it is only upon reflection that you realize it is bad advice, but sometimes you are looking at the person earnestly giving you advice and you realize immediately how foolish or ridiculous it is. In college I had a friend of mine tell me, “Whoever you date next, just make her the right one.” He meant, that no matter how many problems you have or how incompatible you may be, force it to work and get married. That’s just bad advice! That’s the time, for her sake and yours, that you cut your losses and end the relationship so each of you can find a person who is a healthy match. When I was a young pastor, my senior pastor pulled me aside and said to me, “Dave, never let people in the church know if you have a problem and never let them see that you are hurting.” I know he meant well but as I sat there listening to him my first thought was, “How was this even possible?” Am I supposed to fake it and perhaps even lie to people, so they never knew what is going on in my life? Am I supposed to learn how to have this façade of perpetual happiness and bliss amid pain and struggle? If I wasn’t honest with people but instead faked it, am I not just teaching others to see a false image of who I am and are I not just teaching them how to fake it like me? Of course, there is a balance to be struck here. In Galatians 6:2 Paul tells us to “bear one another’s burdens.” There are things in life that are too heavy for us alone and we share them with our brothers and sisters in Christ so that together we can bear these unusual burdens that life presents to us. But a few verses later he says, “For each will have to bear his own load.” (v. 5) He is not contradicting himself. He is reminding us that we should learn how to handle the normal loads we have in life living in this fallen, imperfect world. We don’t lament and broadcast our daily struggles to others (or post them on Facebook). We should learn how to handle the daily troubles of life without burdening others. But we can only bear one another’s burdens if we are willing to tell them what is going on in our lives. In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 the Apostle Paul talks about this thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, who was given by God to keep him humble and dependent. We don’t know what the thorn was, but it was painful and problematic. Paul prayed and prayed and prayed that God would remove it. God answered his prayer but not in the way we might think. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) Paul was a godly man, but he was not a perfect man. He admits that he still has struggles (that’s the point of Romans 7) and he sees the indwelling sin that still resides within him as a follower of Christ (1 Timothy 1:15). He doesn’t “let it all hang out” by telling every problem and struggle. But neither does he live a life of “quiet desperation” by hiding his struggles and going it alone. There is a balance there. We bear our own load, but we also bear one another’s burdens, and we invite people into our lives to ask them to help bear our burdens as well. No, I am not going to tell you every one of my daily problems. But I will share with some believers the burdens of my life so we can together go to the throne of grace and live in community. “You don’t need anyone else; you and God can make it on your own.” That’s a lie and bad advice. We need one another and we need to be honest with those around us so that we can, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2) |
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