A Helpful Distinction

Pastor Dave Monreal, Lead Pastor

“For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?”

2 Corinthians 2:15-16

I was reading an article recently about the question of how we should engage in culture recognizing that the culture has changed from one of begrudging neutrality to one of open hostility toward Christianity and biblical morals. Some have responded by continuing to try to strike a tone of neutrality to be non-partisan, but unwittingly or unintentionally failed to recognize the landscape has changed both in the culture and the church. The article itself gets into some technical discussion that goes beyond the purpose of this article. However, during this essay, the author makes an important distinction. He writes:

“But I would submit that there’s an important distinction between winsomeness and inoffensiveness. Inoffensive describes the impression held by the respondent, while winsomeness describes the objective spirit of the messenger. I believe it’s better to think of winsomeness as the effect of speaking the truth with love (Eph. 4:15), empowered by the Spirit’s fruit of self-control and gentleness (Gal. 5:23). These biblical mandates impose not just the duty of truth-telling but the duty of graciousness.” ¹

I think this is so important to recognize, particularly in this argumentative and belligerent age where people are quick to both attack and cancel. A winsome person is one who maintains his integrity and graciousness amid a discussion. He treats the person he as at odds with in a respectful manner while consistently maintaining truth. He is not inflaming the discussion by personal attacks or putting down the other person to earn points. There is a place for forcefulness and being unyielding in standing for truth. Even then it is the truth that is confronting, not our attitude. Trying to be inoffensive means that we never say or do anything that will make the other person uncomfortable or “unsafe.” The goal is the feelings of the other person, and we will alter our message or refuse to speak because we know the conversation is going to cause discomfort to the other person. Many Christians mistakenly think they should not share the gospel, address issues of sin, or cultural evils like abortion or homosexuality because that will cause others to be offended. For the sake of peace and tranquility we muffle or silence truth.

In every generation the gospel is an offense. We should not be needlessly offensive but instead as winsome and loving as possible. But we must recognize that truth will divide people, groups, nations, even families. We must make sure that what we are arguing for are not our personal opinions or partisan politics, but the truths of God’s inerrant word. No matter how gracious, thoughtful, considerate, or kind you are, if you are standing up for truth inevitably someone will be offended. What we know to be the life-giving, soul-nourishing, fragrance of life, to the unbeliever it may seem to him as the fragrance of death. We should never needlessly be an offense in our attitude or presentation, but if we are truly being faithful to the word, some will be offended. We must continue to speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:15)

¹https://samueldjames.substack.com/p/is-it-time-to-move-past-tim-keller?s=r (accessed 6/12/2022)