If Possible…

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

Romans 12:18

This is one of the most honest, realistic verses in the New Testament. The Bible doesn’t merely say, “Live peaceably with all.” If it did, some could argue for peace at any cost. Peace would be more important than truth. It would give people the justification to lie in order protect peace. I would be a justification for compromise and capitulation. If peace were the paramount virtue of the Christian life, then it would be right to “go along to get along.” If maintaining peace was our highest virtue, we would refrain from saying anything that was confrontational or would be perceived as harsh no matter how necessary it is to say.
           
Of course, many act as if truth is the justification to say anything regardless of how harsh, mean, or unnecessary it is. Paul reminds us, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. (Eph 4:29)” Notice he says that some of the words that come out of our mouths are corrupting. Literally he says that our words can be rotten.
 
Then he proceeds to tell us how truth should be handled. First, he says that the goal of what we say should be to build others up. This does mean that sometimes we have to confront a person about his sin or address and issue that is causing hurt. Although our words may be direct, the heart attitude is one of reconciliation and edification. Secondly, he says that our words should “fit the occasion.” Another translation says, “according to the need of the moment. (NASB)” In other words, what we say must be both the right words and said at the right time. Proverbs says, “A man has joy in an apt answer, and how delightful is a timely word! (Pro 15:23)” So we must say the right things at the right time. We may ask ourselves, I might have a right to say something, but do I NEED to say it?
 
Finally, our words should be grace-filled. It should “give grace to those who hear.” Grace is undeserved favor. Our words should build someone up, they should be said at the right time, and they should be gracious. Although unity is important, it is vital that our unity be based on truth. Sometimes what we say may momentarily break a superficial peace, but it is truth spoken with the goal of gaining a deeper peace. So being a peacemaker sometimes will cause short-term disruptions for lasting peace.
 
One other word, Paul adds, “so far as it depends on you.” We live in a fallen world. We are sinners and everyone we interact with is also a sinner. Sometimes our hearts can be in the right place, and we genuinely desire to speak gracious words to call someone back to Christ and to build him up. But, despite your best efforts, the person rejects you and spurns your words. Have you failed to be a peacemaker? No. Paul recognizes that your best efforts may be rejected. You have done everything that you can to work towards peace, but the other person does not want to accept it. What do you do? You pray. You turn the situation and the other person over to the Lord and ask him to intervene to change hearts and open eyes so that each party will see clearly and come to the point of being willing to work through the issues. You have done what you could, now it is time to leave it in the hands of our loving Father.