Peacemaker or Peacekeeper?

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

Matthew 5:9

Several years ago, I became acquainted with the Peacemakers Ministry.[1] They are a biblically based ministry founded by attorney Ken Sande in 1982 to help churches and individuals navigate conflict biblically and redemptively. In 2012 he established a sister ministry, Relational Ministry 360, to help people move upstream to establish and maintain healthy relationships before conflict erupts. Unfortunately, being sinners and living in a sinful world conflict is inevitable. Even among seasoned Christians and biblically sound churches eventually there will be times of conflict. As a young believer I was under the mistaken notion that once I was mature conflict would be easily avoidable or that I wouldn’t be the cause of the conflict! Boy was I wrong. This isn’t because I am particularly sinful or that the churches I have been a part of are particularly sinful, it is just a reality when any two people, believers or unbelievers, are in close proximity to each other for any length of time. As any new dating couple can tell you, it is possible to be on your best behavior for a little while.

This is why Peacemakers Ministry has been an influential part of my life for so many decades. They often remind people that conflict is inevitable. However, they teach that although it is not avoidable, it is not necessarily destructive and divisive. Conflict, they say, is an opportunity to grow! We are redeemed yet still have indwelling sin, this means that we are still in the process of growth and being conformed to the image of God’s Son, Jesus (Rom 8:29). We are in the process, but we are not fully there yet. We are growing and will continue to grow throughout our Christian life. This process will continue until we take our last breath or if we are privileged to be alive when Christ returns and we are instantaneously transformed (1 Cor 15:51-53; 1 Thes 4:16-17).

Unfortunately, we do not always handle conflict biblically or well. We tend to fight, flight, or freeze. We attack or withdraw (sometimes we attack THEN withdraw) or we become immobilized and don’t address the issues. Freezing is often our first response, but as many videos on YouTube can attest, we are become very good as a culture instantly attacking. When issues are not dealt with, people will immediately or eventually just leave. This is one of the main reasons we see so many people leaving churches and going elsewhere or not going anywhere at all. Regardless of the issue or who is initially at fault, the conflict needs to be dealt with well or it will not end well. It is the responsibility of both parties to lean into the issue to bring it to resolution regardless of who seems to be at fault (compare Matt 5:23-26 with Matt 18:15-17).

Our sinful default tendency is to be a Peacekeeper and not a Peacemaker. A peacekeeper will try to smooth things over and not ruffle anyone’s feathers by avoiding or ignoring the situation. Even as it festers and grows there is a deliberate attempt to avoid confrontation. Sometimes there is an attitude that all confrontation is inherently bad or ungodly. This is how unresolved conflict grows and becomes seemingly insurmountable. A Peacemaker is willing to do the hard work of praying about the issue, examining his own heart for his sin or part in the conflict, and redemptively address the issue to bring genuine, lasting peace. In the power of the Holy Spirit, God calls us to be Peacemakers and not merely Peacekeepers.

[1] https://www.peacemakerministries.org