Controlling Your Tongue

“So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

James 3:5-8

James continues to describe how incredibly destructive the togue can be. He reminds us that although it is a small part of our bodies that our words have a disproportionate effect of guiding our lives. He goes on describing in detail how destructive our tongues can be. He says that our tongue boasts of great things and like a spark can start a forest fire. There can be a world of unrighteousness in the words we use and can defile our whole body. He says the tongue sets our life ablaze and our words can be right out of the pit of hell. He says it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. Perhaps the worst things he says is that no one can tame the tongue!
 
What hope do we have? What help do we have? Are we just slaves to our sinful desires expressed by our words? James does want us to come to the end of ourselves. He wants us to see the hopelessness of self-reformation. Deep and lasting self-improvement is impossible. Not only can you not help yourself, but no one else can tame your tongue for you! This sounds pretty bleak and hopeless.
 
Sin runs much deeper than we realize. We tend to think of the surface behaviors of what we say, what we do, and the choices we make. Those are important to look at, but we also need to realize that there is something deeper than these. All of these are motivated by what is in our hearts. All our desires flow from the heart. The things we choose to do or say flow from the heart. Our sinfulness is much deeper and more pervasive than we will ever realize. Every area of our life is tainted by sin. In fact, the hope of the gospel is predicated on this realization. God wants us to feel the weight of our helplessness and hopelessness, so we look outside of ourselves for the answer.
 
Our hope is not in ourselves, it is in Jesus. Only Jesus can change our hearts and our affections. Only he can change the disposition of our hearts giving us new desires and affections. You may be able to clean yourself up, but you can’t change your heart. You may learn to bite your tongue and practice self-control, but those sinful desires are still there even if they are unexpressed. The gospel is a renovation of the heart. What you cannot do, God can do in your life over time as you pursue him and put into practice the spiritual disciplines he has called you to do.
 
Your goal is not self-improvement. Your goal is to pursue Christ and experience the love of the Father through the abiding presence of the Holy Spirit. The spiritual disciplines of reading your Bible, praying, worship, fellowship, giving, witnessing, and serving are a means of growing in your relationship with Christ. The byproduct of that abiding relationship is that God continues to change you and transform your heart and desires to be in line with his. Of course, we want to grow and be more like Jesus but our growth is secondary to pursuing Christ. It is possible to focus on our own change and forget about our relationship with Christ. This is like a bride to be being so enamored with the engagement ring that she forgets about the one who gave it to her!
 
What you can never do, God will do in you as you pursue him!