AT&T
From Pastor Tim’s article in the 2/17/16 Weekly Update
Our shopping trip was not even an hour old when Cheri and I pulled into the parking lot at the Carlisle Commons, and I suddenly knew what was coming. I recognized it, not because of the illuminated sign, but because of the chill that goes through my spine every time there’s a need to visit the AT&T store.
I love my wife and for her, through the years, I have gone alone to stores to purchase everything from pantyhose to, uh, other things. I’m not embarrassed to go into the AT&T store; I just never quite know what to do when we get there. You see, she is the “techie” in the family, and she actually delights in dealing with high-tech stuff like phones and extension cords.
We’re greeted at the door by a man who has forgotten more about smart phones than I will ever know. “Be bold!” I tell myself and immediately greet him with a detailed summary of what brings us here tonight, what we need to look at and how much money we have to spend on it.
Unfortunately, his only job is to greet us and “check us in,” which means to assign us a number which then appears on a large screen on the other side of the room. This is great because I have now wasted my shining moment of acting competent on the wrong person, and worse, my name is now on the big screen for every person in the store to see along with a description of what I want. TIM KELLER – KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT SMART PHONES AND NEEDS HELP. Super.
Our assigned employee, a delightful young man fresh from Lamberton Middle School, arrives and sincerely begins to question us about just what we need. I hang in there until his jargon reaches a point I can’t understand. I think it was just after, “Hi, I’m Nate.”
As he and Cheri slowly move away from English and into the language of gigabytes, IOS, and syncing I begin to slowly move toward the large iPads on the far wall. To my delight I discover that they are actually connected to the internet, and I’m playing my thirteenth game of Gettysburg trivia when Cheri says that she needs my help with a decision. Oh boy! Decisions are something I can do.
With an absolute straight face she asks me if Josiah would rather have the Apple 5000 smart phone with the laser pointer, GPS and optional flashlight, or the Samsung 800 with the portable space heater, room for 800,000 songs and digital 8-track player.
At this point I put the look on my face that communicates I’m hanging with her, even though a few minutes earlier I had started reviewing the half-price apps menu in my head, nod and make that “uh-huh” sound a man makes when he is mentally about three feet underwater.
She says I’ve made a great choice and then reconsiders and buys the other one as an early Christmas present for our youngest. We have now completed our shopping and can leave the AT&T store.
I can’t be sure, because with middle schoolers it’s so hard to tell for sure, but I think as we walked out the door, he turned to his boss and rolled his eyes.
Say, is that what church feels like for men on their first visit?
